Understand Your Obstacles

If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

- Michael Jordan

You’ve got an understanding of grandiosity and shame and how it can bind you to the narcissist. You’ve learnt about the destructive effects of toxic shame. You know how the narcissist uses the false self to simultaneously achieve control and emotional distance. You know how the rules of human engagement are manipulated and broken by the narcissist and you have a basic idea of how mind control works. You’re amped up for action. But before you dive in, it helps to understand the obstacles you will face as you fight this battle.

Obstacle one: Enmeshment

Being kept in an enmeshed, sub...