Stage One: Awakening

Life isn’t black and white. It’s a million grey areas, don’t you find?

- Ridley Scott

Picture the stare of a narcissist. This unflinching, all-seeing eye casts out a pulse of judgement that leaves you feeling naked and exposed. It is as though the narcissist sees something in you which nobody else does. The second they lock on, you sense yourself lured into their realm, compelled to act or speak without being sure why. There is just something about this stare which profoundly impacts you.

The piercing stare of a narcissist has three characteristics:

1. Judgement: It makes you feel small and defective, as though there were something you need to fix, compelling you to prove yourself worthy of the narcissist’s presence.
2. Tension: It creates a cold, enclosed void and waits for you to fill it, putting you under pressure to reveal more vulnerable parts of yourself to ‘please’ the narcissist.
3. Magnetism: It weakens your resolve, making you feel you have no choice but to engage the narcissist.

There is something deeply unsettling about the all-see...