The Narcissist’s Playbook

I play into the perception of me, but it’s not really me.

- Kim Kardashian

The narcissist needs others to maintain their power. Where people usually nurture bonds through empathy and cooperation, the narcissist must convince people to enter their fantastical sphere of influence using alternative means. For this, the narcissist relies on the art of persuasion to sell their false self while manipulating others into meeting their narcissistic needs.

The art of persuasion

At the heart of every narcissist, behind their elaborate false self which can fool almost anyone, lies a timeless methodology. Coined by Aristotle over two thousand years ago, the ‘three pillars of persuasion’ have remained a universal blueprint for influence, and are outlined as follows:

Ethos (Appeal to credibility)

To have ethos is to project competence, divinity and authority. How a person dresses, their body language, their expression, and their ability to demonstrate success and status all come together as ethos. Think Adolf Hitler. He tailored his appearance and body language to create the impression of authority, showing abnormal discipline in honing his image. He rarely faltered in public, maintaining perfect posture and controlled body movements. The illusion of greatness had to be seamless and absolute. Hitler also touted his war record as proof of his bravery and loyalty to his country. Kim Kardashian is another example. She has dedicated herself absolutely to her image, surgically sculpting her body and perfecting her movements, posture and behaviour to create the illusion of divinity and perfection.

Ethos is potent. It persuades without making demands. In the...