Due to the overwhelming pain of their experience, targets of narcissistic abuse often lose awareness of their bodies. They tighten their muscles, and their breathing grows shallow. In doing so, they are able to push down and dissociate from their suffering.
However, this comes at a cost. If you are unaware of how you are feeling, you remain uninformed on how you should respond. Furthermore, you remain high-strung and stressed, which compromises your immune system, makes you prone to sickness, and wears down your resolve to fight.
The answer is to establish a constant practice of deep, calm breathing. Box Breathing allows you to regulate and reawaken your breath, relax your muscles, and power up your immune function. It reduces cortisol and stress, brings you to a state of calm awakedness, and anchors you within.
Box breathing will also bring your repressed emotions into focus, which at first will be challenging. However, by knowing what you are feeling, and being able to calmly observe those emotions, you are finally able to respond from an empowered, grounded and calm place.
The practice is simple:
Do this daily, or twice daily, for as long as you need. Five minutes is a good place to start.
There are many box breathing apps available on your mobile app store which allow you to customise the intervals to your needs. Or you can start with the above video on Youtube.
Wim Hof, known as ‘The Iceman’ for his ability to withstand icy temperatures, is a Dutch extreme athlete who preaches cold exposure and advanced breathing to attain higher states of consciousness and healing.
The basic idea behind his breathing method is to flood your body with oxygen with rapid in and out breathing, breathing out fully at the end, then holding your breath and allowing the remaining oxygen in your blood to circulate for as long as possible. This raises your vitality, reduces anxiety, and re-grounds you in your body again.
You can do this once or twice daily, especially when you first wake up.
Breath of fire is a process of rapid in-and-out breathing with equal inhales and exhales. To calibrate, open your mouth and pant like a dog while focussing on your navel area. The chest should remain relatively still. Once you gain momentum, close your mouth and resume breathing through your nose.
You want to aim for three breaths per second and continue for three to ten minutes in total. If you feel lightheaded, reduce your speed or stop until you can adapt. As you do the breath of fire, you should notice yourself becoming more awake, and your body becoming energised.
Breath of fire returns you to your body. It helps remind you of the inherent vitality you possess, which your mind alienated you from.
Binaural beats work by introducing two different frequencies of sound into the left and right ears. The contrast resonates with the brain and in turn, changes its frequency.
The anxious mind is predominantly in a state of ‘beta’ brainwaves. Binaural beats allow you to introduce ‘alpha’ waves, which make the mind more relaxed and free-flowing. You can find a plethora of these on Youtube. Be sure to plug in your headphones.
It involves ‘abandoning yourself’ to a drum-based rhythm or spiritual music, allowing the body and soul to guide you through the experience. Judgements, thoughts and shoes can be left at the door, and a safe container is created for you to experience your life energy in its purest and most joyful form.
Ecstatic dance has existed since ancient times, where Greek women worshipping the god Dionysus were known for their ‘ecstatic revelations and frenzied dancing.’ It has been practiced in India, in the Middle East as ‘Sufi swirling,’ and in the Americas.
The modern world is also experiencing a renaissance, with ecstatic dance classes being offered in most major cities. You can practice alone at home, or join an ecstatic dance class, which amplifies the experience many times over.