Practice Five: Even The Scale

I feel beautiful when I’m at peace with myself. When I’m serene, when I’m a good person, when I’ve been considerate of others.

- Elle Macpherson

A relationship with a narcissist is lopsided. Their plans always have priority. In a conversation, their voice has priority. When you try to influence them, they put up massive walls. Unless it serves their interest, they say no.

Your lifelong mission is to cultivate relationships where the scale is even. It’s a skill which takes time to hone. If you’ve been in contact with narcissists most of your life, you might have lost sight of what balance looks like in a relationship. You might be the kind of person who always says yes, and then brushes it off when the other person keeps saying no to you. You might sit quietly, and listen empathically for hours, help the other person with their issues, but when you assert your opinions or problems, you’re met wit...