The Origins Of Your Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem tends to fluctuate. One day, you feel elated and confident, as though you could conquer the world. Then something triggers you. You suddenly become doubtful and unsteady. A crushing heaviness bears down on you, and an inescapable sense of being the worst human being on Earth grips you.

Low self-esteem can plague you for months at a time, especially after a breakup or other major life collapse. Yet what permanently crushes self-esteem is prolonged abuse.

Our perception of our own worth comes from our relationships. When we are children, having our loved ones see us in a positive light and treat us well is a matter of life and death. In society, our reputation is of the utmost importance if we want to be included. Therefore, we need to be on our best behaviour, which is where shame comes in.

Shame is the emotion of self-worth — we feel it when we fail to live up to the expectations of the people we value. Depending on the situation, shame will either hold you back or motivate you to grow and improve. It does not want you stepping on everyone’s toes without caring, nor does it w...