Self Remembrance

The mind is our biggest weakness. Because we easily lose ourselves in our thoughts, others can manipulate us by influencing our thinking.

The mind has a tendency to consume your consciousness entirely. You become a fish swimming in a ‘bacteria-filled’ pond of negative thoughts and beliefs. Meanwhile, you forget that you have a whole ocean within reach: your True Self.

Abuse creates trauma, which is painful to experience. To avoid this pain, we narrow our awareness down to the bare minimum, conveniently ‘forgetting’ our True Self in the process. As a result, we cling even tighter to our mind, hoping it will provide the answers. While thoughts can be reassuring, they never lead to true transformation. In a mind-identified state, you remain cut off from your potential and vulnerable to having your reality hijacked by abusers.

Having a ‘sense of self’ means being aware that you are much more than your mind. Simply put, the True Self is your emotional centre. Your libido flows from this centre and fuels your spiritual evolution. This energy can manifest in countless ways, empowering you to act with strength and wisdom. By tensing your muscles, breathing shallowly and allowing your mind to dictate the terms, you lose touch with this source of power.

Deep breathing, nervous system regulation and mindfulness loosen the faucet, so to speak. Now, we need to open it all the way by daring to go beyond the mind.

Much like a fish in a pond, when you begin meditation, you will still be in the realm of the mind. This is normal. It is the starting point. Without experiencing true connection to your True Self, you may start doubting its existence. Perhaps you need a reminder.

Exercise

‘Self remembrance’ is the process of sitting, for a timed period, with the sole aim of creating space for your True Self to emerge. It is a waiting game, and nothing else. The point of self remembrance is to sit with ‘you’ for as long as possible. That’s it. You sit there with no expectation of something happening, although paradoxically, something eventually does happen.

Begin by assuming the basic meditation position described in the previous exercise. This time, however, do the following:

• Find a basic object to focus on, such as a cup without printing on it. This will serve as a point of reference throughout the meditation to allow you to gently focus without scattering.
• Keep your eyes open throughout the meditation. If you feel the need to close your eyes, do so, but open them again when you are ready.
• Try to stay relaxed yet focused throughout.

During the meditation, you will hit some difficulties. Sitting perfectly still and silent is a mode the mind does not like very much, and it will rebel. You need to be ready for this. Exposing the mind and allowing it no distractions threatens its hold over you. Here is a list of the most common obstacles and how to deal with them:

• Incessant thoughts: As you sit, your mind will keep ticking away. This is perfectly fine. You may find yourself drifting into your thoughts and thinking about the washing, or even analysing the object you are focusing on. The key is to catch yourself and to gently bring your focus back to the present moment. A good way to ground yourself is to focus on your breath. Do a few box breathing cycles then go back to a rested, natural state with normal breathing. Another way to centre yourself is to focus in on your body. Take note of how you are feeling. If you notice something, go deeper into it and explore it. Give it your attention. Then, when you are ready, come back to a relaxed focus.
• Scattering: When a thought or an external stimulus triggers repressed emotions, the intensity can cause the ego to scatter. The more your True Self comes to the surface, the more fear you may experience. As the fear increases, your focus may begin to scatter. The more your True Self reveals itself, the stronger your focus must be. You may also find yourself dissociating during meditation, either zoning out or getting caught up in a thought pattern. The idea is to gently bring your focus back while being simultaneously aware of your body sensations. It is a balancing act, where too much focus brings too much ego, which blocks the path to the True Self. However, too little focus causes you to become unconscious, which means the True Self will over run you and you won’t be able to channel it.
• Pain and discomfort, including hot flushes: This will subside with more and more sittings. Over time, your body has stored up all of your buried emotions. When you do the self remembrance meditation, those emotions will rise to the surface and manifest as physical pain. You may especially experience it in your shoulders and back. Doing some gentle stretching after the meditation can help, but just know that it will reduce over time. You may of course stop the meditation if the discomfort becomes too much, but the more you can tolerate, the more effective the meditation will be.
• Doubts and impatience: The mind will play its games. It will tell you that you are being silly, and that you could better spend your time planning your next holiday. It will think of countless other things you could be doing. It will tell you that what you are doing is pointless. Don’t listen to it. It is all a ruse. The mind hates feeling exposed without something to distract it. When these doubts arise (and they will), simply acknowledge them and carry on regardless.
• Foggy vision: Meditation physically changes your brain chemistry. Foggy vision is a side effect of this, and will clear up as you progress.

Self remembrance does have an aim: to open a space for your True Self to emerge, and for you to meet it. However, you should approach the exercise without an aim. The moment you start expecting something to happen, you energise the mind, and with that, you close the path to your True Self.

Unlike the thought monitoring exercise, this meditation is about transcending the mind and discovering another realm inside you. You want to be as open and relaxed as possible. Rest assured knowing that the process will unfold by itself; there is nothing you actually need to ‘do’ but stay focused. You simply sit, and wait. You need to be alert, but rested. It is a paradoxical state, but it will make more and more sense with each session.

You must also have faith, courage and patience as you find your way to that wondrous place. There is a thinking mode, and there is a being mode. The more self remembrance sessions you do, the clearer the distinction between the two will become. The more faith and courage you show, the greater your reward. A time will come when your True Self reveals itself, and you may smile to yourself in acknowledgement. It will be a crucial milestone in your journey, and will provide you with a significant piece of the puzzle.

How often: Do this meditation daily at first. Start with a 5-minute timer, and build up to two 20-minute sessions.