Mindfulness

Trauma can overwhelm your mind, emotions and consciousness, significantly narrowing your awareness. People with complex trauma often dissociate or ’zone out’. They tend to miss details, and find it difficult to focus.

When you are unaware of what holds you back, or of the dormant power you possess inside, you cannot change anything. Mindfulness is the torch which lights up your way in the dark, allowing you to ‘see’ reality with courage, and to ‘know’ the truth with wisdom. Mindfulness sharpens your focus while vastly expanding your insight into yourself and the world. Paired with breath and a calm nervous system, it is the tool which makes all else possible.

The Basic Meditation Position

The mindfulness ‘muscle’ is strengthened through meditation. As many meditation exercises will be recommended later, it is best to first clarify the optimal seating position. You prepare for a meditation session as follows:

• Go to a quiet room where you will not be distracted.
• Find a spot on the floor and sit cross-legged with your back and neck upright. It helps to have a meditation cushion to sit on, since elevating your torso allows you to maintain good posture and makes the meditation less painful. If you don’t have a meditation cushion, you can stack up some folded towels or clothes instead, and even place a towel under your knees if the ground is hard. The important thing is to be as comfortable as possible while maintaining an upright seated position.
• Set a timer. The ideal duration is 20 minutes. You may need to start with a shorter period and work your way up from there.
• Rest your hands on your lap. Your palms can face up or down, depending on what feels best.
• Close your eyes (unless it is explicitly stated to keep them open).

When you are in position, you can begin with the following meditations:

Exercise 1: Box Breathing

Simply perform box breathing from your basic meditation position. This is always a good exercise to begin any meditation, as it grounds you in your body and allows you to ‘arrive’.

Exercise 2: Senses Scan

While breathing naturally, pay attention to the following:

• What can you hear outside?
• Can you feel your clothes on your skin? The temperature of the room? Can you feel your legs and bottom pressed against the floor or cushion?
• What sensations do you notice in your body? Where do you feel them? Are they heavy or light? Enjoyable or unsettling?
• Notice the air entering and leaving your body with each breath.

Exercise 3: Thought Monitoring

Pay attention to any rumination. Most beginners have zero awareness of the content of their minds. Their thoughts come and go, impacting them in countless ways, while they have no idea why they feel the way they do.

You might be thinking about your next appointment, or replaying something that happened earlier in your mind’s eye like a film. You might analyse that project you are working on or wonder how a certain person is doing. These surface-level thoughts are a great starting point.

Suggestion: Alternate between the above three meditations to get a feel for the potential of mindfulness.

How often: Meditate daily until your awareness sharpens and your insight expands, at which point you can move on to the more advanced meditations that come later.

Exercise 4: Journal Your Thoughts

Your surface-level thoughts are just the tip of the iceberg. The rest of it consists of your beliefs and ideas about yourself and the world. Write down any thoughts you notice in your journal, and see if you can connect the dots. For example, if you find yourself repeatedly thinking about how much more attractive or successful someone else is, what does that say about your own desires and beliefs about yourself? If you cannot stop ruminating about something or someone that annoys you, then what unresolved problem or trauma lies at the core?

During the meditation, you may notice a multitude of competing voices in your head. Some thoughts may be pedantic and fearful, presenting a series of ‘what if’ scenarios that highlight your deepest worries. Another voice may be narcissistically grandiose, reassuring you that you are indeed the best and most special person. Otherwise, it may mercilessly remind you of how terrible a person you are.

So which is it? Which of these voices and messages perfectly captures who you are? (Hint: None of them). How accurate are these thoughts? By meditating regularly and documenting your mindfulness practice, you can gradually form an overview of your ego’s internal landscape. This can help you identify areas to work on in your recovery journey.

Suggestion: Make a habit of jotting down any thoughts you remember after each meditation.