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* Machine translations. May have errors and inconsistencies.
* Machine translations. May have errors and inconsistencies.
Your healing journey begins with a single breath, and an invitation.
So take a deep breath into your lower belly, and invite your body to relax.
People who have experienced abuse often numb their pain, anxiety and emotions by tensing their muscles and breathing rapidly and shallowly. More tension and less oxygen running through the body means less sensation, which cuts you off from the distress you feel.
However, this comes at a cost. If you are unaware of how you are feeling, you will lack the wisdom and energy to respond to manipulation. Furthermore, you remain on edge, which compromises your immune system, making you prone to illness and wearing down your willpower.
In order to release trauma, rediscover awareness and achieve a sense of flow, you need to recondition your body to hold more oxygen. Like watering a plant, effective breathing invigorates and energises you while raising your consciousness — for better or worse.
When you are overwhelmed by external stressors and internal emotions, your breath is often the only thing that can keep you grounded in sanity. In extreme cases, you dissociate and lose touch with your body altogether, leaving you feeling lost and confused. It is with deep breathing that you can pave a way back ‘home’.
As often as possible, remember to check in with yourself. Take a deep breath into your lower belly, and on the exhale, invite your body to relax. Then pay attention to how you feel. You may be surprised by the intensity of the emotions and stress you had beneath your normal level of consciousness.
Usually, at this point, unconsciousness takes over again, and you revert to muscle tension and shallow breathing. To overcome this automatic state, you need to practice a slow, steady rhythm of deep breathing.
‘Box breathing’ is a powerful technique that activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the body’s ‘rest and digest’ response. It allows you to regulate your breathing and raise your level of awareness. It induces relaxation and boosts your immune function. It reduces cortisol and stress, bringing you to an awakened state of calm and anchoring you within.
The practice is simple:
As your nervous system regulates, you may first notice the heaviness of shame or the discomfort of anxiety. That’s fine. Continue breathing in rhythm while observing your inner space. If you maintain faith and courage, your state will gradually shift — but only if you do not expect it to.
Remember, an invitation is just that — an invitation. Your body will decide whether to respond. You cannot force it. The more you fight your body, the more it will do the opposite of what you want. Your invitation should be a gentle prompt, and not an order.
It is easy to fall into the trap of impatience, believing that you should be relaxing just because you are doing the box breathing. Often the body is relaxing, and because of this, it senses an opening to release its repressed emotions. In other words, the more you relax, the more overwhelmed you feel. It is in this paradoxical state that the releasing process takes place. Expecting something to change will make you more anxious and invalidate your invitation. You simply do the exercise, and observe what comes up. By remaining both persistent in your practice and accepting of what you feel, you make transformation inevitable.
Some days, you will immediately be able to breathe deeply at a long interval of five seconds or more. On other days, the air will feel like it barely passes your throat. Rather than using a fixed interval and ‘forcing’ the process, it helps to be aware of where you are currently at, and adjusting the power of your breath and the interval accordingly. Simply reaching the top of your stomach at an interval of 1-2 seconds might be enough. It is already a major shift from the shallow, rapid breathing you were unconsciously using before.
You may also find it more comfortable to breathe in slowly and breathe out quickly (or the other way around). Forget perfection, and use whatever combination feels best. 5 seconds inhale, 2 seconds hold, 1 second exhale and 3 seconds hold is just as valid as a ‘perfect’ 4-4-4-4 rhythm. By listening to your body and adjusting accordingly, you become more attuned to it, and your relationship to it grows.
Suggestion: Put on a timer of two minutes and practice deep box breathing with your eyes closed.
How often: Daily, or as often as possible.
Those who carry immense trauma might need something more potent to regulate their nervous system.
Yoga nidra is a Sanskrit term meaning ‘yogic sleep’. It has nothing to do with the poses of regular yoga. In fact, it is the complete opposite. It is a guided relaxation meditation that induces a state of consciousness between waking and sleeping, which enables you to move fully into a state of complete surrender.
Find somewhere quiet where you will not be disturbed. Lie flat on your back with a blanket over you and an eye mask if you have one. Play your preferred yoga nidra meditation (available online) through a speaker or headphones. As you will discover, the yoga nidra practitioner will speak in a soothing voice, and invite you to focus on one body part or location at a time. Paired with its soothing background music, yoga nidra has an uncanny ability to ‘hypnotise’ you into a state of blissful relaxation. When you are over-stressed and unable to relax, it can be a godsend.
How often: Every 1–2 weeks or whenever you feel you need to.
Trauma forces you into a high-frequency stress state, which cuts you off from your felt experience and narrows your consciousness. Box breathing and yoga nidra support you in transitioning to a lower frequency which you might have never known. It is a realm that must be experienced to be believed.
By acknowledging your feelings, and calmly observing and accepting them, you can finally respond from a grounded and empowered place. Only then can you begin the recovery process.