Libido is life force. Whether you have been sexually active for some time, or if you derive self-esteem from being sexually desired, or even if you use sex to cope with emotional pain — there is another way.
Libido can be redirected in infinite ways toward a plethora of creative acts. Start by sitting with the feeling. Focus on it in your body. Enjoy your turn-on. You are alive, and you have life energy flowing through you. This is a beautiful thing.
Rather than seeing your sexual turn-on as a hindrance, or something you need to ‘get out of your system’, see it as power flowing through you. Do you really want to give up that power to your ex? This simple paradigm shift can be immensely transformative.
At first, the change won’t be dramatic; you will just feel uncomfortable. During this initial phase, simply breathe deeply and allow the feeling to roam. Get accustomed to holding it under the light of your consciousness. Be present with it.
At this point, you might be overcome with an overwhelming urge to masturbate, in order to ‘relieve yourself’. Again, this is giving your power away to a few seconds of pleasure and a dopamine spike. Do you really want to do that? So as much as possible: Avoid masturbating.
As hours become days, and days become weeks, you will intuitively begin to redirect that energy into non-sexual activities. You might notice you wake up earlier, or that you no longer get so many energy dips throughout the day. You feel motivated to do the little things. You become hungry to learn, to take on tasks you normally would neglect.
Above all: Set a conscious intention for your sexual transmutation. If you had a hard time with your ex, then dedicate yourself to learning about better relationship dynamics while taking practical steps to heal. Read voraciously. Meditate. Try out various breathing exercises to help regulate your nervous system and control your sexual urges. Try new activities. Meet new people. The further you progress with sexual transmutation, the more motivation you will gain. It happens gradually, but it does happen.
With sexual transmutation, you grow full of vigour and excitement for life. Doesn’t that sound better than that hollow, empty feeling you get after a desperate shag with your ex? And who knows, rather than being addicted to the person who made your life miserable, you might instead become addicted to not having sex, opting to improve your life instead.
