A crucial step to discovering inner peace and strength is to establish your own point of gravity. This means being sensitive to when people pull you off centre by targeting your triggers, desires and emotions. In time, you will have an anchor point for when the temptations and emotional storms come. And they will come, as will the desire to surrender your centre to a source outside yourself.
By being centred, you will know yourself beyond duality. That is, you will not lose yourself in the vertigo of ‘good enough’ or ‘not good enough,’ ‘loveable’ or ‘unlovable.’ A centred person can still share themselves, but they do so from an awakened, aligned place — not on the whims of others.
Finding Gravity Within
Before anything, we need to understand what a ‘centre point’ is. In his book ‘The Sacred and The Profane’, Mircea Eliade explored the religious and spiritual practices of archaic and tribal people. One consistent theme he found in all cases was the establishment of a centre point, an axis mundi which represented the very centre of the world, without which the society would fall into chaos. By having a fixed pillar which connected Heaven and Earth, a people could integrate the sacred realm into their being, and therefore establish order in their world.
The axis mundi can be embodied in many ways, such as a tree, a mountain, a tower, a gathering place, a pillar, a town or city centre, an altar, and so forth. For example, the sacred centre of the Roman Empire was Rome. As long as it existed, the city energised the citizens and soldiers of the empire to fight and die in service of something greater than themselves.
Places of worship such as temples, churches and mosques are further examples, where we feel ourselves filled with ‘the spirit of God’ when we cross the entrance into the building. Jerusalem and Mecca are classic examples of holy cities which hold enormous power as sacred religious centres.
This phenomenon also works on a personal level. That is, we can pursue transformation by directing our consciousness toward a singular point of focus, which consequently acts as our centre; our axis mundi. In doing so, we can a) remain anchored during intense emotional storms, and b) establish an opening in consciousness capable of conducting life energy, which lights the way toward our True Self.
Losing Your Centre
Those who have never consciously centred themselves have no way of checking if they are uncentered. If you have ever experienced a flow state where everything seamlessly worked for you, then you were centred — even if you were unaware of it. That moment where the magic ended and the wheels fell off was either the end of the flow cycle, or someone or something knocked you off by impacting your emotional state.
If our emotions inundate us or we become over-identified with them, we lose touch with our inner centre.
Some examples of how we can be polarised and taken off-centre through our emotions are:
Fear: ‘What if’ scenarios. Being threatened with abandonment or verbally or physically threatened or attacked.
Love: Being charmed, infantilised or starved of affection.
Hate: Being trolled, purposely irritated, badly treated, scapegoated or convinced to scapegoat another person or a minority.
Pride: Being fed propaganda, flattered or ridiculed.
Shame: Contemptuous stares. Being compared to others, put down, rejected, stonewalled or dominated and controlled.
The above and more can create a residual emotional hangover that can last for days, or in chronic cases, can remain a permanent fixture in one’s psyche. Like a blocked drain, our consciousness becomes flooded with emotions, and a connection to our True Self is no longer possible. To clear out our inner space and restore our point of centre, we will need to observe our dominant emotions, create space for them, and then release them. In doing so, we can re-open the path toward the True Self.
The Art of Centering
The most potent way to explore the five forces directly is through meditation, which brings you into a state of awareness and alignment with your life energy. Yet without an ‘axis mundi,’ you will lose consciousness and become lost in a sea of thoughts and emotions.
Your inner centre is your compass which leads you toward wholeness and mastery of the True Self. To begin with, however, we need to anchor ourselves on the outside, which in turn helps guide us toward our inner centre.
The centering meditation can be done as follows:
1. Setup
Find a quiet room where you will not be distracted.
Pick a spot on the floor and sit cross-legged with your back and neck upright. It helps to have a meditation pillow to sit on, since elevating your torso allows you to maintain good posture and makes the meditation less painful. If you have no meditation pillow, you can stack up some folded towels or clothes and even place a towel under your knees if the floor is hard. The important thing is to establish as much comfort as possible while maintaining a seated, upright position to help you remain alert.
Set a timer. The ideal period is twenty minutes or more. At first, you may need to begin with a much shorter duration and work your way up.
Rest your hands on each lap and let your shoulders hang back.
You will keep your eyes open throughout the sitting. If you feel a need to close them, do so, but open them again when ready.
2. Establish a point of focus
Find a simple object or spot to focus on, such as a mandala, an item without printing on it, or a blemish or line on the floor. In this way, wherever you focus becomes your centre. As long as you remain focussed, life energy can redirect out of your thoughts and into consciousness. Lose focus, and the line of connection will be severed, wherein your mind will take over again.
3. Initial challenges
During the meditation, you will have difficulties. Sitting still and silent is a mode the ego does not like very much, and it will rebel. You need to prepare yourself for this. Exposing the mind to consciousness threatens its power over you. Here is a list of the most common obstacles and how to deal with them:
Incessant thoughts: As you sit, the mind will keep ticking. This is perfectly fine. You may drift away and start thinking about the washing, or you could replay parts of the day like a movie, or you could even begin analysing the object on which you are focussing. The key is to catch yourself and gently bring your focus back into the present moment. A helpful way to ground yourself is to concentrate on your breath. Breathe ten slow, deep breaths, then return to a rested, natural state with regular breathing.
Pain and discomfort, including hot flushes: During the meditation, repressed emotions will rise to the surface and manifest as pain, especially in your shoulders and back. Some gentle stretching after the sitting can help, but just know that it will subside in time. You may stop the meditation if the discomfort becomes too much, but the more you can tolerate, the more effective the sitting will be.
Doubts and impatience: The mind will play its games. It will make you feel silly, and tell you that you could better spend your time planning your next holiday. It will think of countless other things you could be doing. It will tell you there is no point to what you are doing. This is all a ruse. The ego hates feeling exposed without something to distract it. When these doubts arise (and they will), simply acknowledge them and keep going.
Foggy vision: Meditation changes your brain chemistry. Foggy vision is a side effect of this, and will settle as you go deeper and your focus improves over time.
4. Dealing with scattering and tension
When a thought or realisation triggers your emotions, the intensity can force the mind into creating a distraction. Also, the more your True Self surfaces during the meditation, the more fear you will likely experience. As energy increases, your thoughts may speed up to create a smokescreen, or your focus may scatter.
The more the True Self reveals itself, the stronger your concentration must be. You might also dissociate during the meditation. The idea is to gently bring yourself back while being simultaneously aware of your bodily sensations. It is a balancing act, where too much focus brings too much ego, which blocks the path to the True Self. Too little focus causes you to become unconscious, which means the True Self will overrun you.
Tension arising in the body is also common. Because trauma is overwhelming, many people permanently tense the muscles in their body from an early age to stop feeling emotions. The longer you meditate, the more life energy will flow, and the more pressure your body will be under to maintain this tension. Your shoulders, neck and jaw are usually the first points of resistance you will notice, but in time you will also find that your stomach, thighs, buttocks and even face hold tension.
During the meditation, simply continue allowing your breathing and ask each body part to relax one at a time. Noticing the tension can sometimes be enough to cause it to dissipate. If that fails, then purposely tense the body part as hard as possible and then relax it again. This creates a contrast between pressure and ease, and will help you get a sense of how to let go.
5. Finding the doorway
When you stop seeing the object, it is time to gently restore your focus. Expect to drift in and out as often as once every few seconds. Even when your skills improve, you can probably only expect fifteen or so seconds of consistent focus at a time. This is normal.
If you succeed in concentrating on the centre point long enough, you may eventually feel intensity rising from the bottom of your spine, through your torso and up to your face and the top of your head. Stay with the pressure as long as possible. You are entering into being, and the Self is emerging.
On the other hand, if rather than intensity you only notice the presence of heavy emotions weighing you down and drawing your attention, then you have emotional residue and need to undergo releasing.
6. Releasing
For many people, the path to the Self is treacherous, swamped with unprocessed emotions and trauma. Even when a person has done the work and cleared their mind, body and spirit, a bad day can be enough to muddy the waters.
When you are in the present moment, your repressed emotions will sense an opening and bubble to the surface. In this case, close your eyes and shift your focus into the feeling instead. Observe how it forms inside you. Ask your body to relax, and allow space for the energy to flow. Inhale and exhale using your body’s natural rhythm. See if you can establish a centre point in the middle of the feeling, as though you are staring directly into the eye of a storm. However, be wary: this will also intensify the emotion. Courage is key.
Forms of unprocessed emotional energy which may need releasing are:
Shame: Anyone who has dealt with abuse knows that shame is one of the most challenging emotions you can experience. Heaviness, an inability to think clearly, and a general sense of inferiority and hopelessness may be the first things you experience when doing this meditation.
Trauma: When you open a gap in consciousness and energy flows, repressed trauma can dislodge and flood your body with fear. Withstand it for as long as you can before ending the meditation for the day. Trauma release should not be taken lightly. Easy does it. If too much fear arises, it can cripple you for the remainder of the day and numb your capacity to experience pleasure. Only process a manageable amount, then live to fight another day.
Grief: We can grieve the death of a loved one, emotional and physical abandonment, the loss of our childhood, or the end of a relationship. Often we do not go through this process in its entirety, and grief remains lodged inside, waiting to express itself.
Sadness: When we have been riding an emotional high for too long, sadness is the inevitable down cycle which most people avoid feeling. Permit yourself to be sad. Bask in it. Know that it is carving out room for joy to return. By accepting sadness and giving it space, you can allow it to pass, restoring you to wholeness much quicker than resisting otherwise would have.
Rage: Repressed anger is extremely common when someone has gone through abuse. Rage festers deep inside, remaining out of awareness. If you brush up against it during your meditation, be mindful, but stay calm. Often you may feel rage without any particular cause. This is repressed anger which requires space and time to express itself and be released. Simply allow it to be there by relaxing your body and breathing through it, tolerating as much as you can. Avoid mulling it over or overthinking. It will reduce in intensity over time if you allow it.
Grandiosity: Pride is a swelling of life energy, where the body and spirit expand. As energy fills you during the meditation, you may experience a rush of power along with grandiose fantasies. Your ego may be trying to cover up underlying shame which it does not want to acknowledge. Observe this wave of grandiosity, but do not engage it. It may or may not be useful in achieving your goals, but in the context of this meditation, it only serves to keep you trapped in the realm of the ego, blocking the way to the True Self in the process.
Apathy: Some days you may feel completely numb and indifferent, unable to feel anything in particular. Although it is deeply unpleasant, you should treat this state like any other. Simply focus on it and sit with it as long as possible, noting any changes that occur. Apathy passes like any other emotion.
Whatever emotional energy you encounter could merely be the tip of the iceberg. Releasing repressed emotions can take months or years, yet the benefits will show well before your work is complete. Like the weather, some days are clear while others will be cloudy or stormy. The only constant needed is your attention and focus.
Amid an emotional storm, remember to maintain focus within the energy. Then ask your body: Can I let go of one percent of it? If the answer is no, sit with it a bit longer until you feel ready to ask the question again. If the answer is yes, ask: Can I let go of another one percent? Watch out for overthinking. The ego is trying to distract you by hijacking the emotion and creating a story about it.
If you feel overwhelmed, either stop the meditation, or simply focus on your breathing. This is not an active process, but rather one of allowing, of gently guiding the body toward letting go and coming into being.
In time, the intensity of your repressed emotions will reduce. One day, regardless of how long it may take, the heaviness will pass, and you will notice raw energy rising to the surface, clearing the path toward the True Self.
The Fine Line Between Thought And True Self
Discovering and exploring your centre is a personal journey and requires faith. Most people spend the majority of their time completely identified with their mind, which consumes their entire reality and stops them from being grounded in something deeper.
A person may mentally ‘know’ of the existence of a True Self, but knowing does not equate to experiencing. You may ‘know of’ the city of London, but without actually being there and experiencing its diversity, fast pace and classic landmarks, you will never really actually know it. So it is with the True Self.
Like a fish in water, when you begin the centering meditation, you will still be in the thinking realm. This is normal. It’s the starting point. Without actually having experienced how it is to be truly connected to your centre, you may find yourself thinking that it doesn’t actually exist. You must have faith, courage and patience as you find your way toward that wondrous place. There is a thinking mode, and there is a being mode, and the more sittings you do, the more obvious the line between the two will become.
The more faith and courage you show, the more you will be rewarded. A point will come when you do sufficiently uncover your centre, and you may smile to yourself in acknowledgement. It will be a crucial milestone in your spiritual journey.
