Family creates the strongest of bonds. As we grow, our family shapes us physically, spiritually and psychologically. We take on its customs, rituals and beliefs about the world. It is not only a group to which we belong, but an ideology which we inherit.
When you consider a family tree, you can see how one person’s belief system can trickle down and affect dozens and eventually hundreds of people through each generation. Usually, a child internalises a great deal from their family, but as they separate and actualise, they grow in unpredictable ways, and the influence of the family is diluted by the child’s experiences outside the home.
In the narcissistic family, the development of the child is much more tightly controlled, which means the influence of the family becomes more potent and absolute. The most frightening thing about the narcissistic family is that through this tendency toward isolation and gaslighting, one person’s delusional agenda can rain down over generations like a dark shadow, without anybody realising it.
Consider the following family tree:
A three-generation narcissistic family tree.
Bold: Parents (Head narcissist and spouse)
Italic: First generation (Children of narcissist)
Normal: Second generation (Grand-children of narcissist)
Jane is a malignant narcissist with a strong, controlling personality. Francis is a mild-mannered man with a dry sense of humour. Together they have four children; Fred, Harry, Bill and Christi...