Narcissistic abuse affects both the conscious and unconscious mind. It acts on you by breaking down your conscious reality in its current form and rewriting it according to the narcissist’s grandiose desires and needs. Your new conscious reality involves being in a position of perceived inferiority, an amping up of your fight/flight circuit, the isolation of you from your family and friends, and above all; constant, unrelenting psychological attacks.
Whether the narcissist is love bombing you, judging you, ridiculing you, gaslighting you, exposing you to incessant monologues or pressuring you into behaving how they want; their assault is unrelenting and suffocating.
This naturally impacts your dreams, since dreams represent messages and symbols from your unconscious which aim to restore your soul to health. It is not uncommon for victims of narcissistic abuse to have dreams of claustrophobia and tight spaces, where they are trapped inside a narrow tunnel that progressively grows smaller, or inside a small box or coffin from which there is no escape.
Another type of dream is the pursuit of something that proves unattainable. You might be trying to find something which you are sure is there, but yet proves elusive, or you might be trying to prove yourself in some random way and never quite measuring up. You might wake up with a massive sense of despair, or an unsettling terror. You might also wake up in a state of panic. These states all represent the symbolic dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
Your dreams are trying to alert your conscious mind that you are in a situation which is detrimental to your well-being. Your dreams are the smoke telling you there is a fire in your unconscious because:
You are being smothered and controlled, and,
You are trying to obtain love that is not there and never will be.
Your dreams are demonstrating via symbolism that you will never attain what you seek with this person. Your dreams are sending you a message to set boundaries, and to do something about your conscious reality, which is the only way to alleviate the pressure inside.